How is this piece of descriptive writing?

well you are creative. I like the part about the tin ply bathrobe & the part about the head in the freezer isnt that ba, but to be honest. if this is for like the average reader, they wont understand words like "tendrils" or "undulated" < heck i am a grad student and i dont even know what that means. You might watn to dumb that part down. Also, i dont really think the thick golden syrup thing fits. I just dont see sunlight as thick and syrupy.