I wrote this, please tell me what you think of it?

I think it is beautiful. I think you can make it even better with some help and organization. I hope you keep a journal of thoughts because you have serious potential as a writer. I hope you continue to devil into your mind and find even more pion and put in to paper Best of luck. Take your writing to an English Professor for critiquing your work. You will go far continue to absorb the world and situations around you for your intellectual expression.